| Commencer le soupir, encore |
[08 Sep 2006|11:58pm] |
As much as I hate to admit it, I think I put way too much stock in the mentality that certain things are "meant to happen" or that "there is a reason" for everything.
There isn't. I can't believe that everything I am feeling right now, everything I have gone through this year (13 month period, not calendar year) had a reason. What reason could that be? Why would any God, spirit, or natural order of things have me feel such things. It's beyond pain. It's beyond the feeling of defeat.
I have never felt so lost, so alone and so scared in my entire life.
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[13 Aug 2006|02:49pm] |
LJ is pretty new to me, although I've created a couple of accounts before.
I was looking for a new start, but until I have time to update and make this place pretty (and of my own design), please be patient.
I'll also be xposting for a while, but that will change as well.
xpost from Xanga and My Space
There is much I need to write. Well, that is to say I have much I would like to write.
So much is going on right now that I honestly have absolutely no idea
where or when to start! I can say that I truly miss this medium though
and as such, will make an effort to write more.
Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you view life), there is much that
needs my attention right now, so much in fact that it seems
overwhelming. There's been a few life altering decisions, some mine,
some made by others that have pulled or lured me into the direction I
am currently. I keep thinking that things will get easier, but
apparantely there are more challenges ahead and I find myself in the
realization that things have become harder. Irony aside, at least I
can keep myself busy. Idle just isn't me.
Enough ambiguity for now. I'll resume my incoherence after I accomplish a few things today. ;)
Oh yeah, I enrolled in school again. I refuse to let life bite me in the ass anymore.
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